I’m delighted to share this wise and moving sermon that Angela Steel gave today at the United Church of Christ at Valley Forge

A couple of weeks ago Nathaniel asked us “How has your way of understanding God changed and grown throughout your life?

I grew up on a farm in Scotland and the church sat in the village at the top of the farm road, so every day I passed the church, where I thought God lived. My mother was the Sunday School teacher for 30 years, so of course, every week I went with her to church and to the warmth of the kitchen in the Manse where our Sunday school classes were held. In my view, that was where I heard about God. On a Sunday between 11 and 12 noon, in the Church with the Minister as the conduit to God and the Holy Spirit. 

That is what I understood – you needed to be in a very specific place, at a certain time with a certain person who had the wisdom and authority to speak about God. And there was never any talk about God speaking to us directly! In the Church of Scotland, God was a benevolent figure but a very distant one. If he was going to show up and be present, it would be right there, in the church, and only at the allotted time, with the Minister in charge of visitation rights!

In recent years, as I have become a much more regular church goer, I reflected that I had a very active external spiritual life. Attending each week, participating in committees, events and book studies I was showing up at the right time and the right place for the glimpses of God. And while I had experienced the beauty and bounty of a beloved community, the radical notion that ‘God was still speaking’ and that He might actually have something to say to me, directly, was still missing.  I had neglected cultivating my own, internal spiritual life and creating that connection to the Holy Trinity – the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

I felt I had one of my first first, my very own, glimpse of God back in the summer of 2020.  We were two months into the COVID-19 global pandemic when we heard that the camp that Grant, our 12-year old’s, was enrolled in, was cancelled, along with all our travel plans for the summer.  I felt an almighty pull, deep within me, to take some time off to be with Grant and in the hope that I could visit my beloved, but ailing, mother in Scotland, so I sat down to write a proposal to take six weeks off, a sabbatical, for the first time in 22 years of work with GSK.  

I presented the proposal to my boss on Friday 29th May and he was very gracious and supportive.  That night my Mother passed away in Scotland.  It felt like divine intervention, a moment born of spirit, a gift of spaciousness and rest following the death of my Mum and the height of the pandemic. I went ahead with the sabbatical from the middle of June until the end of July.  It was an extraordinary experience. To stand at the threshold of six whole weeks, when I was so emotionally shattered and weary and know that I only had to focus on what I felt like doing on any given moment was so very healing.  People asked me what I planned to ‘do’ during my time off, but I always answered it wasn’t about ‘doing’, it was about ‘being’. 

I put this Richard Rohr meditation and prayer at the heart of my sabbatical,

“Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.”

Thanks to COVID I had to sit down, rest and just ‘be’ since we could not travel too far or run around ‘doing’ everything. I unplugged, completely and absolutely, from my work.  After 22 years of uninterrupted time with the company I simply switched off and focused on being a human being, rather than a human doing. Being with my son and family, being home and being in connection with God.

During my final week off I managed to do some meditation and what emerged was a mantra from deep in my soul that said, “Before I’m 54. Leave GSK before I’m 54’. This truly felt like an encounter with the Holy Spirit.  I wrote ‘before I’m 54” in my journal and put it away and then returned to work with renewed energy.  Then on October 9th I was told that my role was eliminated, part of a huge restructuring within GSK.  Five months later, Thursday March 11th was my last day in the office after 23 years with the company and my last day on the payroll was 3rd April. The next day, April 4th was Resurrection!  Easter Sunday! A poetic move by the Holy Spirit! Ten days later I turned 54 and that month I launched my new company Fundamentals Coaching, a new calling in my life.  

There is wisdom and certainty, deep within us, but we rarely stop to listen in the whirlwind of everyday life as we juggle family, career, aging parents, after-school activities, church and community commitments.  It is only when we stop, when like a snow globe, we allow the flurries to settle and our thinking to clear, that the magic of clarity happens.  This is beautifully articulated by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl who said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space and, in that space, lies our power to choose and in our choice lies our growth and freedom.” 

This same message is heard in the Ephesians passage today. “That the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him.  

The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what the hope of his calling is.”

I felt moved by this sabbatical experience to continue to explore my own spirituality.  I had seen and felt the power and movement of the Spirit when I had rested and isolated from the world but how could I do that when life returned to ‘normal’?  I was also intrigued and captivated by the writing of English poet David Whyte, who talked about the “Dazzling unexplored nearness of God”.  

So, the promise was there but how did I go about exploring ‘the nearness of God’ in my every day? I honestly didn’t know where to begin! So, I decided to take a spirituality class with the amazing Leigh Murray to begin to explore the internal, spiritual life through lecto divino, prayer, meditation, contemplation and sitting in the silence to reveal the words and messages and be spirit led. To continue and deepen this daily practice I also embarked on the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises – a 32-week adventure following a daily practice that started in September last year and finishes this week. 

How have I connected to the Spirit?  How do I describe my growing relationship with the holy trinity? For me, Elizabeth Gilbert said it best in a podcast earlier this year when she asked, “What does God’s presence feel like?” She said “To be with God is to feel the feeling of relaxing completely in the presence of somebody who is incredibly fond of you.  A God that says “I love you exactly as you are and far too much to let you stay that way!”  Here’s a God who loves you AND is willing you to change, grow and serve. 

What I have experienced throughout this journey is glimpses of God. Moments of fondness, nearness and insight. Moments that placed me near the humanity of Jesus, but also his divinity and unexplainable mystery. 

This experience has been like playing hide-and-seek and peek-a-boo all at once!

Did you ever play hide and seek with a 4-year old? I remember playing with my niece Lynsey when she was that age and it was Aunt Ange’s turn to count and seek.  When I went into sitting room there she was, lying under a glass table!  Hiding in plain sight!  

I think I’m now realizing that Jesus is hiding in plain sight in our own lives.

Another wonderful game with the babies in your life is peek-a-boo! Ask Melissa, Evan and baby M. about this! At a certain age when you can cover your face and pop out from behind your hands with a peek-a-boo and the flash of uncertainty from the baby, then a smile or a little laugh that grows as your repeat!  

I’ve experienced that God is playing peek-a-boo with me!

Elizabeth Gilbert says it’s not Jesus who is playing peek-a-boo. It’s us!  He is always there waiting to catch glimpses of us! It’s not the other way round. We are waiting to catch glimpses of God, but God is just waiting for us to appear. 

Playing peekaboo with God!

There is a splendor in this recognition, of building our divine consciousness. God is omnipotent – he is always there and everywhere. He plays hide and seek in our minds.

In the Spiritual exercises, there are invitations to enter into a colloquy or intimate conversation between you and God or Jesus. In the colloquy, we speak and listen as the Spirit moves us: expressing ourselves, as a friend speaks to a friend. When I did this during the program, the response from God said “The moments of enlightened delight were simply you remembering I was here all along. We have played Peek-a-boo your entire life. You forgot and then for a moment remember that I am here and you are delighted and consoled. You are simply dazzled in my nearness.” 

What do we do with the infusion and encounter with the Spirit?  What does it mean for our lives?  In our John Lectionary passage today, we hear that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.  In reading a little more about this the New Testament word for eternal is aiónios, (eye-oan-i-yos) which carries the idea of quality as well as quantity and is less associated with years. Instead, this is something we can experience now rather than something that starts when we die.  Aionios starts the moment we exercise faith in Jesus, and experience those glimpses of God. It is a current possession, in the moment, and alters life in the present tense. 

How do we channel our glimpses of God into the present?  How do we use what we hear, learn and experience to move forward and take action to change, grow and serve ourselves and others? 

I found the prayer by St. Teresa of Avila a very beautiful reminder of what we might be called for and to. 

“Christ has no body but yours.

No hands, no feet on earth but yours.

Yours are the eyes

With which He looks compassion on this world.

Yours are the feet

With which He walks to do good.

Yours are the hands.

With which He blesses all the world.

Yours are the hands.

Yours are the feet.

Yours are the eyes.

You are His body.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”

We turn the glimpses of God and the Spirit to strengthen our eternal life in the moment and take action in our own lives and in the lives of others. 

Through the lens of the Holy Spirit, we can find our place in the dynamic dance of infinite love. Partnering with a God who doesn’t stand on our toes but who leads and calls us in unexpected and beautiful ways. A God who is waiting for us to wake up and play peekaboo!  

Thanks be to God,

Amen

Delivered Sunday, May 26, 2024, by Angela Steel, at the United Church of Christ at Valley Forge