The following is a testimonial on hope by Matthew Harrington:

An Acquaintance Across the Room
In 1967, I was baptized Catholic in Mechanicsburg, PA, outside Harrisburg. But I was not involved in church from age 10 to 40. My Catholic father wasn’t involved in our lives and my mother wasn’t involved in church. As an adult I just wasn’t interested.
My introduction to God came at the age of 22 through a 12-step recovery program. Before this, my experience was like waving at an acquaintance across a crowded room. I believed God existed; I just didn’t feel the need to make an effort. God was out there doing whatever God did. And I was here doing my thing. Operating under my own power, I was hit by a disease I could see coming years before it arrived — alcoholism. I ran amuck and was almost a lost soul. Until I found recovery.


Experience, Strength, and Hope
At the start of most Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, the chair reads the Preamble. “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and HOPE with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.”
Initially, I saw the references to God in the 12 steps and was hesitant to embrace it. But I
gradually came to see how God could be a practical force for good in my life. I needed to reach out and found that God was there in ways I did not expect.
In those early years of participating in fellowship with others in recovery and doing the 12-steps, I was tightly focused on learning from the experience of my friends and gaining strength myself to live a different life. I was not overly concerned about hope. There was a God, and I was not it. I was hopeful enough with that thought.
I also shared the common concern among my fellows that we should tread lightly and not to go off the deep end when discussing faith and hope for fear of scaring away anyone who comes in with a bad church experience. One common saying (and one which I used to embrace) is: “A.A.didn’t open up the gates of heaven and let me in, but it did open up the gates of hell and let meout.”
The idea is to differentiate the spiritual program from religion. It is to emphasize that believing God saved us from destroying ourselves does not have to be a religious conviction about heaven. Many of us have been to hell in our addictions and know the power and beauty of getting set free. The intention is to ease the on-boarding for those of us who have struggled with religion. We share our experience, strength, and hope to help another person find recovery. If we can convince skeptical people to drop the religious baggage they have been carrying and embrace a God of their understanding through the 12 steps of recovery, we might save a life. It’s an understandable impulse.

Grounded in Eternal Truths
But it has risks. Founded almost 90 years ago, Alcoholics Anonymous originally embraced
religion but left it up to each individual to find a path of their own choosing. The book Alcoholics Anonymous urges members to seek guidance outside the 12-step program. In a section on prayer and meditation, it says, “suggestions about specific prayers and books may be obtained from one’s priest, minister or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they have to offer.” (p. 87). In AA, the original idea of hope was more than just wishful thinking or a vague notion of spirituality. It was for individuals to keep an open mind about established traditions, embrace eternal spiritual truths and develop a faith that works for them.


A Path to Something Better
My personal journey back to the true nature of hope started when my wife, Angela, and I were trying to start a family. It seemed natural for both of us to find a church where we could raise our children. I was a long way off from my Catholic roots and Angela was a little closer to her own Christian tradition. At the time, a connection with a friend in seminary led us to a small church – The United Church of Christ at Valley Forge – where we have grown in love, in hope based on a Christian foundation into deeper connection with God, and in relationship with a supportive community.
The church was there for us as we struggled through several unsuccessful pregnancies. And
when we lost Grant’s twin, named Jenny, just a few days after her birth, it was a friend in
recovery, Pete Harkins, who suggested the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner.

God as a Vending Machine
The unforgettable image from Rabbi’s Kushner’s book is one of God as a vending machine. It sounds silly, but I realized that my conception of God was not too different from this model. I was putting in my coins of prayer, meditation, and service to my recovery and church communities. I was doing the right thing as a traveler on a spiritual journey. And I was thinking I would get goodies out of the bottom of the machine. And for a long time, I was getting them. I had all the candy I could eat, really. That was how I found my hope. That by making these spiritual deposits to God, I would continue to get the good things in life. Not material stuff, necessarily. But real and meaningful relationships, growth, peace, and productive engagement with all life has to offer.
Losing a child was a major blow, and it made me realize that in many ways my hope was
based on a transactional relationship with God and fueled by wishful thinking. I could not run my life on expectations of goodness. That was not reality. But it was how I defined hope, and it worked for a long time. Until it didn’t.
The truth is that the goodies I get are a gift. God does not require anything from me. It is grace that provides. And when I suffer a loss, it is God who keeps me sane and sober. I don’t have to make the spiritual deposits of prayer, meditation, and service. But when I do, I get the benefits of living the life I want to live. God is part of my life and I am better because of it.

My growth with God – and closer to God – have both been enhanced by commitment to share hope, like it says in the AA Preamble. My involvement with this dear church has enabled me to get closer into the channel of God’s goodness. If I can play a small part in sharing this spiritual good with others, I am making a difference.


A Call to Action
With the decline of attendance at religious services in the past 20-30 years, the influence of religion on spiritual development has declined for most people in 12-step recovery programs. With little time or inclination to connect with religious bodies, however, those of us in recovery may be limiting spiritual growth and closing the door to what’s possible for ourselves and others. Today, we need to get back to the tradition of making use of what religious leaders have to offer.
It is a proven way to strengthen the third leg of our stool – HOPE – instead of relying exclusively on our practical experience and physical strength. I want to stop substituting wishful thinking for the greater hope that is based on freely given grace and eternal spiritual truths. An open mind is needed to stay in the channel of God’s peace.

A Prayer
God, please keep me in the present moment. A place where I can experience the fullness of life. When I cut myself off, my options are limited to what I can see and do by myself. It is a narrow view of the world. I need Your more expansive perspective to live fully and generously. Amen.

Delivered Sunday, December 1, 2024, by Matthew Harrington, at the United Church of Christ at Valley Forge.

Image by Thomas Mühl from Pixabay